GoRilLa WeEkLy!!

The woes of the self conscious gorilla…..

dizzletasic — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:20:31 +0000

Shaving…the baine of gentlemen everywhere. Little do you know when your a prepubescent young man, drawing on a moustache with the nearest black felt-tip ( come on…..i wasn’t the only one) that you would grow to have distain for the monotony of guillotining those reddily filled follicles.

But at least your not a metrosexual gorilla! Imagine being so fashion conscious that you felt the need to use Braun products to be clean shaven. He must need to shave every hour, minimum. The cuts after a wet shave must terrible…..

The Muppets understand the importance of GORILLAS!

barejokes — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:32:21 +0000

So this Gorilla walks into a bar…..(and other gorilla jokes!!)

dizzletasic — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:07:04 +0000

Do Gorillas kiss? Yes, but never on the first date!

What do you feed a 6oo pound gorilla? …..Anything it wants!!!

What’s black dangerous and lives in a tree? …..A gorilla with a machine gun!!

A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, ‘Who is the king of the jungle?’and the deer replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master.’ The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, ‘Who is the king of the jungle?’ and the zebra replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master.’ The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. ‘Who is the king of the jungle?’ he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, ‘Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer.’

JAPANESE LAB TESTS ON GORILLAS AGILITY AND GRACE: THE FINDINGS SUPRISE US ALL

dizzletasic — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 21:17:57 +0000

DRUMMING GORILLA…GETTING TOO BIG FOR HIS HOOVES?

barejokes — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:40:34 +0000

TOP 10 GORILLA GORILLA GORILLA FACTS!!

barejokes — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:12:44 +0000

1.Gorillas are the largest living primates – the family of animals that includes monkeys, apes and humans. A mature male gorilla can be over 6 feet tall and weigh 300 to 500 pounds. He can spread his arms 8 feet across and is as strong as 4 to 8 strong men. Adult female gorillas are about half the size of the males.

2. Like humans, gorillas have two legs and two arms, 10 fingers and 10 toes, small ears on the side of the head, forward-looking eyes and 32 teeth. Unlike us, their arms are longer and more muscular than their legs, and their big toes look like thumbs. Their bodies are covered by thick dark hair, except on the face, chest, underarms, palms of the hands and soles of the feet. An adult male gorillas becomes a “silverback” at about age 15 when he is full grown and the hair on his back turns silvery-gray.

3. Gorillas normally walk by putting their feet flat and walking on the knuckles of their hands. They can stand upright, but they don’t do it very often. When they do, it is often to “chestslap.” Gorillas do not beat their chests with their fists but with open cupped hands, making the familiar loud sound which can indicate aggression or excitement.

4. Gorillas can live more than 50 years. Newborn gorillas are very small, weighing only about 4 1/2 pounds. They are helpless at birth and depend on their mothers for at least 3 years, and they usually stay in their family group as they grow up. Females mature at 10 to 12 years and males at 11 to 13 years. Young gorillas must learn from their group how to find food, make nests, take care of babies and get along with other gorillas.

5. Gorillas communicate with each other by using gestures, body postures, facial expressions, vocal sounds, chestslaps, drumming and odors. Although they cannot make the sounds of human speech, gorillas are capable of understanding spoken languages and they can learn to communicate in sign language.

6. Gorillas are very intelligent, and they share with us a full range of emotions: love, hate, fear, grief, joy, greed, generosity, pride, shame, empathy, and jealousy. They laugh when they are tickled and cry when they are sad or hurt. Gorillas cry with sounds, not tears.

7. A typical gorilla family inclues one silverback, the strongest male and the undisputed leader; one immature male between 8 and 13 years old; three or four adult females, who ordinarily stay with the silverback for life; and three to six youngsters under 8 years old. Some groups are larger or smaller than this, and males sometimes travel alone or form bachelor groups.

8. Gorillas sleep about 13 hours each night and rest for several hours at midday. They build new sleeping nests every night by bending nearby plants into a springy platform, usually on the ground or in low trees. When not resting they spend most of their time looking for food and eating it. They eat mostly plant foods: leaves, shoots, fruits, bulbs, bark, vines and nettles. They also eat ants, termites, grubs, worms and insect larvae.

9. There are three types of gorillas: Western Lowland, Eastern Lowland and Mountain gorillas. The names refer to the different areas of Africa where they live. Mountain gorillas are the most critically endangered, with conservative estimates of only 400 to 600 living at this time. Koko and Michael, and most zoo gorillas, are Western Lowland gorillas.

10. Gorillas are shy and peaceful. The only natural enemy of gorillas has always been human beings. Gorillas are still hunted for meat (bushmeat) and trophies in some parts of Africa, and they are caught in traps set for other animals. In the past, whenever an infant gorilla was captured for a zoo, the mother and often the other members of the family were killed as they defended the baby. Now the most serious threat to free-living gorillas is the human population explosion. As more and more people take over the land for agriculture, logging and other development, the gorillas have nowhere left to go.

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

dizzletasic — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:30:25 +0000

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

‘Whoever discovered and labeled the Western Lowland gorilla with their scientific name, must have been terribly impressed with their size …..their technical name is three times the common one: Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla”

This is the fact that has started the craze that now is Gorilla Weekly!!

Myself, Roob and Nathaniel (Namely Gorilla’s 1, 2 and 3) have literally been inundated by the great britsh public for general titter worthy information pic’s and video’s about our favorite jungle residing ape.

This blogs purpose is to serve you, the Gorilla loving public, with all you have been demanding to know, and other usless titbits of general randomness.

And if you haven’t ever been concerned about Gorillas’s before and are generally baffed and think ‘these guys obviously have got to much time on there hands…..WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!

Before you get onto your high horse (or in keeping with the theme, Gorilla) we’re just doing our bit for mother nature. Even Gorillas need love…especially Gorilla number 3.

(NOTE TO ALL:GORILLAS ARE JUST THE STARTING POINT, WHO KNOWS WHERE THIS COULD LEAD, LIONS PANTHERS , GERBILS, DES LYNAM, IDI AMIN, THE HOUSING MARKET CRASH, LAKE TITICACA, GENERAL RANTING, JUST REMEMBER, THE GORILLA STARTED IT ALL)

PEACE!!!